Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.

But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.

The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.

I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?