Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.

All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.