You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe
I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.
I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.