If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.

How long can you tread water?

Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone.

Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.

I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them.