If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.

A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.

My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We're going here, we're going there, he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair.

The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I couldn't identify the formation.

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.

My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.

And to those people with no children but who think they'd like to have them some day to fulfill their lives. Remember: With fulfillment comes responsibility.