When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

I think you need to make responsibility something that's not just a word.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'

George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.

You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger.

My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you.

'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say.