When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.