The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side of themselves, and that's when they stop arguing.

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.

You can not make everybody happy.

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.