Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you.
Have you ever had a cookie? Then you won't get any here either.
Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.
I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are."