Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It's on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening.

Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?"

Social networking helps reach people easier and quicker.

While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?' I asked one girl of seven. 'No,' she sweetly replied, 'I help make the mess.' It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it.

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.