When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start to do better when they are competing for students.

Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone.

Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting.