Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones who eat broccoli.

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.

Don't talk yourself into not being you.

I didn't know how serious it is to a female that you lift the lid.

I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door.

How long can you tread water?

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.