I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it!

If I use the word romance, whether it's my wife or not, it does not mean sex. We can use the word sex when sex is there.

Laughter brings out the child in all of us.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.

My grandfather said, "When you become senile, you won't know it."