People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?

A Christian will say... "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.

What are you reading for?

Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.

Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.