I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.

That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.

I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.

On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."

Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?

Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.

I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.