We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.

Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!

Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?

What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

I was in Australia....Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den....think of the parties.