I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet.

We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club.

You all saw him - he had a gun.