What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.

It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.

God has this...hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.

I am available for children's parties, by the way.

I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]

Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.