I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.

We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.

God has this...hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.

The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions

I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.

If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.