We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!

'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.

I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.