Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?

I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?

Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.