Nonsmokers--this is for you and you only. Ready? Nonsmokers die every day. Sleep tight.

I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.

I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'

The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.

...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.

Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.