Nonsmokers--this is for you and you only. Ready? Nonsmokers die every day. Sleep tight.

When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'

BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book.

I am available for children's parties, by the way.

Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.

The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.