Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.

You are the imagination of yourself.

I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.

Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.

I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us...to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.