I think it's interesting how people act on their beliefs. A lot of Christians, for instance, wear crosses around their necks. Nice sentiment, but do you think when Jesus comes back, he's really going to want to look at a cross?

The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form.

To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference.

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer

I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.

We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.