If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.

What does an atheist scream when they come?

I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren't partyin'.