It's all about money, not freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without money, okay?

Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.

Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that.

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.

To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference.

I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.

I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.