It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

not all drugs are good.. some of them are great

I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, "This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it... Now I have to create Republicans."

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?