It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth.

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.