I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.

But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.

That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.

I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.

While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.

You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.