I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody, remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww. You ever seen somebody do that? I've seen someone do that. Let me tell you something — if you're smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I'd think about quitting. And that's just me, ya know.

It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.

I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.

I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us...to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.

I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.