'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.

We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!

I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.

...I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An 'avenging GOD'? One who created Hell for those who don't believe? I thought we were the perfect and holy children of GOD? How could any limits possibly be put upon us? Hell.. really? I'm sorry, but... no. Wrong. You're wrong. That's an insane GOD and therefore not mine. Because, see, GOD would be very sane, don't you get it?

Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.

It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.

Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.