I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.

All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.

Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes--are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!

I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.

Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.