It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.

Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

I guess I have a gift for expressing pedestrian tastes. In a way, it's kind of depressing.

CALVIN: As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.