I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.'
Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I've got a cousin who is 18... Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.