In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.

I never felt like I was stealing anyone's fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.

My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.

Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.

What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.