In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.

At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe it's just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time.

I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.

I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?

Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.