When life gets you down, make a comforter!
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
I think no matter what you do, a certain amount of people are going to call you a sellout, somehow, you know. If I ever start trying to make a living on it.
People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.