Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.

I'm happy with what I'm doing. I try not to focus on how I've changed. I just try to focus on what I'm doing now.

When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.