Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.

I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it's totally not, which is why I'm trying to get away from it because it's just easy and automatic.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.

What's that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I'll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.