Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.

When life gets you down, make a comforter!

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.

I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.