Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.

I'm very interested in trying to make comedy shows that are a bit bigger, more theatrical, more of a "show." Some people might say I'm trying too hard, but that's a compliment to me. I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.

I don't consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos.

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.

What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.