I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.

Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.

People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist... how do we fix Africa?'

There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.

The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.