The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.

I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it's totally not, which is why I'm trying to get away from it because it's just easy and automatic.