Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.

What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.