People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.
For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.