I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.

That's what YouTube's become, it's become like a lot of vloggers capitalizing on this sort of like "My fans, I love my fans, hey guys." I've grown up and kind of been disgusted by that. I think it's using people, I think it's like encouraging something that's unhealthy, telling people you love them. "I love you." Oh really, you love your fans? You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that's not selfless that you love your fans, that's ridiculous.

My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.

I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.