Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.

I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.

I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.

My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys.

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy