Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.

Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.

My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.