What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.

Love is all about... whistles.

For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.