I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don't want to construct the show to prove something.

Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.

I see young people being dismissed for supposedly wanting only "stupid" and "easy" material, or that they don't have an attention span longer than three minutes. I disagree with all those statements; I just think they aren't true. I'm saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don't know if I'm doing that, but I'm trying.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.

I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.