When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.