When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.

Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.