When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.

Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.