I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'

A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.

I got my start in silent radio.