I got my start in silent radio.

My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.