I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.