My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.

My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!