I can't remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie.

I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.

Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?

Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it's part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.

Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.

One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you're the boss. It's your stage, and don't screw with me because I'll make you look bad, which I had to do, because you wind up with drunks and loud people.

Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is.