Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame.

I wasn't much good. When I went into the line on a fake - I would holler 'I don't have it!'

Continuing to do stand-up is always a challenge because the audiences and the environments in which you work very often differ.

In today's world, you would call my father mostly unaccessible. I'm not sure that isn't true of most fathers at that time. He went through the Depression. I don't know what that would have done to my psyche.

More and more, as I get older, people come up to me and say, 'Thank you for all the laughter.' And my standard answer is, 'It was my pleasure.' But that's the truth.

Funny is funny is funny.

The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.