Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame.

Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is.

All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.

I couldn't play off people that I don't personally like.

I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.

Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.

I gave up accounting. I went in for about six months writing ad copy. I was fired from that, and then another guy and I did a kind of poor man's Bob and Ray kind of syndicated radio show. Then I decided to stick it out and see what happened. I'd give it a year, a year became two years, and then two years became three years, and then along came the record album.