I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.

All I've ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you'd want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.

I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce....I thought he was missing.

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.