I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.

It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you'd want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.